Keep Off the Grass

Late March, 1991- Desert Storm was over and my unit was waiting to rotate back to the states. The population of our base was dropping more every day. The locals didn't really want us there and were doing everything they could to see us on our way. Rumor had it they bought a bunch of our gear so we wouldn't have to waste time cleaning and packing up. The overall mood was defenitely more laid back than it had been the past few months, most days we played cards or football sometimes we caught things on fire. We all knew we were going home soon. I was a Sergeant and was looking forward to getting out in a few months. I had just finished having breakfast with three of my friends and we were on our way to work. We had about a fifteen minute walk to work. Instead of walking down the sidewalk, through the parking lot, across a field and down the flight line, I decided to skip the sidewalk and parking lot and just cut directly through the field to the flight line. About halfway across the field, we started to hear shouting behind us, like someone was trying to get our attention. We decided to ignore the shouts and keep going. The shouter ended up being a very persistant young lieutenant. After he reminded us to salute, he asked us to follow him back the way he came. While we followed him, he lectured us about walking on the grass. (the Marine Corps has a thing about getting off the sidewalk on base.) I wasn't surprised, this guy looked pretty new and new officers were known for this kind of foolishness. It wasn't even worth it to argue that this was all probably going to be leveled in a few weeks, he would have just cited tradition. It's hard to argue with a moron who can justify stupidity because it's a tradition. We were running late before Lt Buttinski stopped us, now we were really going to be late. The Marine Corps has bigger issues with punctuality, than it does with landscaping. I decided to interrupt the lecture. "Excuse me sir," I blurted. He was stunned. I don't think he was ready for that. He turned around and gave me a look like I tried to set him on fire. But I did have his attention. "What's the point?" I asked him "If you're trying to make a point, please get to it because we're late for work." The angry Lt took my name and unit information from me and sent us on our way. We humored him by cutting directly to the closest paved surface we could find. I never heard anything more about my run in with authority that day.

Mid July, 2002 Tina and I had a free afternoon and decided to pay a visit to one of our favorite spots on the dunes. The Ghost Forest is a place I have been going to since high school. Geoff and I have been out there quite a few times, it's a place where a stand of trees have been buried by the sand, died and were uncovered. Visually, it reminds me of the elephant graveyard. We drove out to the park and walked out to the scenic overlook. When we started to climb over the rail of the deck, a lady spoke up- "What is the matter with you people?" She wailed, "Can't you read? You're going to ruin the sand dunes!" I played stupid and told her it must be OK to go there, I can see a path and everything. We bounded down the hill, ignoring her pleas to stop killing the fragile grass. We had a great time that day. When we got back, there was no Ranger waiting to write a ticket. We haven't been out there since then. Not that granola lady chased us off, we've just opted to take the kids on less challenging walks.

We decided with a little planning, we should be able to get the kids out there and are hoping to take a trip as soon as Jon gets back. We found a route that is less populated and much closer than our regular trail. There are signs all over the place asking you to stay on the designated path. The trail maps ask you to stay on the designated path. To get to where we want to go, we are going to have to get off the designated path. There is a path that winds out there but It's not on the trail map and it's not marked. When Jon asks me why we don't stay on the path, what should I tell him.

• "This is a path." Maybe I can fool him with that for now, he's starting to learn how to read a map.
  "That's just for tourists." Same as above, eventually he will figure out it's bullshit.
  "The juice is worth the squeeze." That's the gist of it, whatever lecture, ticket or fine we get if we get caught is worth it.


• "The park doesn't mind if you take the secondary path as long as you are responsible, they just can't encourage it." I've always felt the park was there to enjoy. There are quite a few boardwalks and observation decks. They give access to some people, are they meant to deny access to others? I sort of believe this is the case, if I ever get into a conversation with a Ranger, I will find a way to work that question in.


• I can always just tell him about the time that Lieutenant lectured me for walking through the field.